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HELP A FRIEND
Warning Signs
- Sudden drop in grades or change of behavior
- Self-destructive behavior, including drug and alcohol use
- Difficulty with relationships
- Antisocial or delinquent behavior
- Inattention to appearance or grooming
- Risk taking behaviors with little thought of consequences
- Extreme sensitivity to rejection or failure
- Slowed physical responses or increased physical agitation
- Social isolation
- Significant weight gain or loss
- Feeling sad, hopeless, weepy, or empty
- Unmerited feelings of being "bad" or "stupid"
- Frequent and unexplained headaches, stomachaches
- Changing in sleep patterns/problems with sleeping
- Unprovoked anger or aggression
- Refusal or reluctance to attend school, skipping school
- Dropping out of favorite activities
- Withdrawal, little interest in others
- Running away
- Cutting, self-injury, threats or self-harm
- Talking about death and or dying
These warning signs can mean all different things, but if you see some of these behavior and changes happening for weeks or even months at a time, talk to a trusted adult.
How to Help a Friend When They Return from the Hospital
- Don't be awkward, afraid or nervous, they are the same person you were friends with before, trust your friendship
- Don't force them to talk about it if they are not ready, yet don't pretend it didn't happen
- Be willing to listen and give your friend space if they need it
- Let them know you are there for them
- Check on them and ask how they are doing
How to Help a Friend if They Talk About Hurting Themselves
- Continue talking with your friend and let them know you are there to help. Reassure them that you care about them and ask them how they are doing
- Let them know that you need to tell an adult and ask them if they have a preference on who you tell
- Get help from an adult A.S.A.P.
- Get support for yourself, b/c your friend might get mad at you and end up being very stressful
If you witness a self harming act in school....
- Don't let them be alone
- Ask how you can help
- Find out what's going on
- Get help from a trusted adult
- Follow up with them and see how they are
How to handle a friend's depression
- Don't take it personally or blame yourself
- Research it, google it, and find out what it means
- Have patience with your friend
- Be a true friend, be flexible & compromise
- Still continue to be encouraging and be supportive throughout
- Let your friends know that they are not alone
- Know the warning signs
Understanding Grief After a Loss:
- Grief is a natural response to the loss of a person, place or thing.
- Grief is healthy and reminds us of our connection with the person we have lost.
- Grief is a time when the brain rewires itself to allow the new reality to exist.
- Grief will pass.
Symptoms of Grief:
- Numbness at first
- Sadness
- Loneliness
- Anxiety
- Trying to get used to the idea of the loss by thinking of it repeatedly at first
- Poor Sleep, sometimes nightmares are involved
- Lack of interest in activities
These symptoms ease over time, especially if we have been attentive to them and taken care of them. Remember that grief is a gift that requires attention. Our attention to our grief allows us to understand the importance of our loss.
Coping with Grief:
- Know that grief is healthy and normal—even if it is uncomfortable.
- Move through your grief thoughtfully and deliberately:
- Write, record or draw your feelings, thoughts, and memories.
- Feel your feelings! Allow them to come forth, even if they are uncomfortable.
- Move toward acceptance of the new situation.
- Be gentle with yourself.
- Reminiscing with others, sharing your thoughts and feelings with others, is healing. Sometimes family and friends are not able to do this right away. If this is the case, talk with a clergy member, teacher, or therapist so that you can express yourself.
- If you feel regret:
- Explore what your regret. Look at each facet [something left unsaid or undone, a wish, a hope, something said or done, a promise made or broken, a desire to escape] and notice the information that facet holds for you.
- Talk with others about the regret.
- Grieve.
- Take Action steps:
- Are there amends that can be made?
- Is there something to learn from the regret and actions taken/not taken?
- Can steps be taken now for someone/something else?
- Transform the regret into service for others. Can you take your experience and teach others through it? Can your experience give others hope?
When is Grief not Grief?
Sometimes grief can develop into depression or anxiety. The best rule of thumb for this is if your symptoms get in the way of living your life. Initially, grief feels like one has been hit by a truck. This is normal and is part of healthy grief. If, after a period of time has passed [think weeks, a month or two], and you are having trouble sleeping, waking, being with others, finishing projects/homework, are dreading the day, and/or feeling very anxious, the grief may have transformed into depression. If any of these things are happening, tell your parents or a trusted friend and seek out a therapist to assess for depression and anxiety.
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